Habits

Tuesday was a weird day for them. Finally seeing you was really nice. There were a few remnants of emotional attachment, but I think it was more of a draw towards the remnants of companionship more than anything else. The past few years have been so set between us, and it was a little weird suppressing some habits and instincts that we've built up and have been used to for so long. There were a few out-of-body moments and self-realizations throughout the whole day, actually. You're so used to acting a certain way around people, that when the circumstances change, you can't help but revert to the way things were, despite all efforts to achieve the contrary. But like I said, I think it was just automatic instinct taking over for a few seconds. I hope you're not offended.

I think it says a few things about me and where I am right now. I know that I don't feel the way I used to anymore, which is good for both of us. And I think a part of me misses the physicality of companionship.

I mean, there's no way in hell I'm complaining about the state of my romantic life at this point. Even just a month ago, I would never guess I would ever be this happy while still remaining technically single.

But nevertheless, although I still feel like leaning on shoulders and holding hands and hugs and kisses are definitely something worth missing, at the same time they are also definitely something to look forward to and worth waiting for when the right opportunity with the right person arises.